PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON ALTERNATIVE PLAN

Cut-price wedding, sausage rolls from Greggs, getting clobbered up by Primark and a honeymoon at Butlins. Might I suggest Bognor Regis and with Bognor having Royal connections the couple may qualify for some extra discounts. Please take your own towels for swimming and why not put them on your gift list (more savings). Now we come to the venue of the marriage, that’s a tricky one! Got it, my garage, I will put a few flowers around it with some helium filled pink balloons ( real class). Anyway, must dash now got a gazebo to erect.

YUK

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1319562/McDonalds-Happy-Meal-bought-months-ago-shows-sign-mould.html

One decomposed dinosaur burger to go! Would you like that with a antediluvian milk shake ?

BBC TV LICENCE

The BBC has announced that the corporation will freeze the £142.50 licence fee until 2013.Wow, how magnanimous of the BBC, let us sing and dance in the streets across Britain. I am so euphoric at this news and if you believe that I will tell you about the fairies at the bottom of my garden .




http://darbythefirst.blogspot.com/

Burn the Koran

Terry Jones, this so called minister intending to have a “Burn the Koran” day - all that will be achieved by these actions is that he will get plenty of media coverage and upset peace abiding Muslims, who also condone the atrocious acts of 9/11. All this under the simulated semblance of Christianity is no more than contemptuous.




.http://darbythefirst.blogspot.com /

Please help Tom

Ok, let's put this into some kind of perspective, Tom didn't have the insurance - this doesn't have to be constantly reiterated with curt, bloodless comments. Now here is where you come in Mail online, as the media will get mileage out of Tom's situation, so let's turn this media mileage into air mileage, so your adverting peeps get in contact with a few airlines. Try that Richard fellow for starters and in turn, he gets a glowing write from one of your columnists. Let me know how you get on Mail online. If you would like I will PP this to a few airlines myself.






http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1308746/Briton-26-paralysed-95-cent-blinded-Thai-road-accident-needs-35-000-fly-UK.html

Boycott

There is no BUTT’S about it, this ignominious violation it has cast a dark cloud over this years cricket and to be honest with you I would personally Boycott (pardon the pun ) any Pakistan remaining fixtures.



http://darbythefirst.blogspot.com/

BBC Staff Vote For Strikes

The BBC losing money? I find that hard to believe with licence fees and their increasing attempts at surreptitious advertising. Bullshit! If they say they are not, as it is so evident it creeps into loads of programmes daily. Do you think the viewers are so naïve to believe this!

Chilean miners have more suffering

Sebastián Piñera ( President of Chile) also one of the Chile's richest people in the country, should be totally ashamed with the lack of support of his fellow men. Just when the Chilean miners thought it couldn’t get any worse, the mining company, San Esteban who they work for, has no money to pay their wages, leaving their families on the surface, desperate for food. How can you sit back in your air-conditioned offices with copious amounts of food and comforts and let this happen! For gods sake, show some compassion, put your hand in your pocket Sebastián Piñera .



Sebastián Piñera (Presidente de Chile) también uno de los más ricos de Chile la gente en el país, debe ser totalmente avergonzado por la falta de apoyo de sus semejantes. Justo cuando los mineros chilenos pensaba que no podía ser peor, la empresa minera, San Esteban para quién trabaja, no tiene dinero para pagar sus salarios, dejando a sus familias en la superficie, desesperados por conseguir comida. ¿Cómo se puede sentarse en sus oficinas con aire acondicionado, con grandes cantidades de comida y comodidades y permitir que esto suceda! Por el amor de los dioses, muestra algo de compasión, poner la mano en el bolsillo Sebastián Piñera.

Blair’s book A Journey

Day one of the release of Blair’s book A Journey and as predicted, a few apologies mixed in with “I still think I did the right thing” No astonishing disclosures like “mine and Cheries night of passion in a threesome with big boy Prescott” What a revelation that would be, it might even make me buy the book myself but what is the point, as the media have picked out the best bits for our perusal, like how Brownie bullied him (GET HIM AFTER SCHOOL) and his admiration for our royal family (CREEP CREEP), bit like Alastair Burnet. Not that I don’t admire our royal family as I do, so if they want to consider Darbythefirst for an M.B.E for blogging that’s fine with me. If there is anything positive to say about the book, it is that the proceeds are going to the British Legion, who do a sterling job providing help and welfare to the serving and ex-Service community and their families. This charity is a fine example of what our government should be doing!




http://www.britishlegion.org.uk/about-us

Pakistan match fixing

Pakistan won the toss and elected to cheat

Blogger’s 11th Birthday Party - Inside AdSense

Blogger’s 11th Birthday Party - Inside AdSense

Tiger Woods divorce settlement

One thing I can say for Tiger Woods, he’s got a lot of balls. If he wants sympathy after being shafted for playing around with the birdies and constantly updating his scorecard, does he think we are green? He has made a big wedge out of this (how many golf related words can you find).

http://tinyurl.com/33b5fp8    

Darbythefirst Blogs: The Cameron’s new born has been named

Darbythefirst Blogs: The Cameron’s new born has been named: "The Cameron’s new born has been named and as predicted, it has a Cornish connection, due to the baby’s birth place of Truro, so it is congra..."

The Cameron’s new born has been named

The Cameron’s new born has been named and as predicted, it has a Cornish connection, due to the baby’s birth place of Truro, so it is congratulations to the couple and baby Pixie Pasty Cameron




from Darbythefirst

Come on people of Coventry

Come on people of Coventry. Somebody must know this fat piece of evil lard. Name and shame the bitch.






http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/7960197/Cat-owners-hunt-for-woman-who-put-pet-in-wheelie-bin.html 

Dingoes are in limbo

Not to stereotype our friends down under but put another shrimp on the Barbie, as the Dingoes are in limbo. Why not have a fosters as they peruse the rosters. What’s the worst scenario, you end up with a coalition. That’s not too bad, on second thoughts !

ENDORSEMENT BY KATIE PRICE

Katie Price is there anything she wouldn’t endorse! How about the Katie Price pooper scooper with two big shovels at the front.

Ramadan is conducive to my health

I may as well say this as think it. Ramadan is conducive to my health - shall I elaborate? Why not, then maybe you might understand. I have just travelled home in a taxi, where the driver was nearly falling asleep at the wheel. He told me he had been on for a 12 hour shift with no food or fluids during this time! I feel that due to this unhealthy religious diet Ramadan, he was worn out and basically uncohererant due to lack of fluids and food. Therefore, all taxi drivers on Ramadan should be restricted to limited hours. I totally respect their religion but would like to get home in one piece!

Jaguar XJ75 Platinum,

Very nice - here’s the deal, I give you good worthy write ups and in return I get a Jaguar XJ75 Platinum, failing that what about a key ring.

http://darbythefirst.blogspot.com/

Bye Bye Clampers

It’s sad when anybody looses a job, but there are exceptions to the rule, especially with the low life companies who lay in wait like sewer rats, waiting to pray and scavenge for every last morsel bye bye clampers.

A snip at the price.

Elvis Aaron Presley or is it Elvis Hairgone Presley.Hair clippings, swept up and conserved by one of his hairdressers, has sold for £10,700.

BECKHAM'S MOVE TO CHELSEA

News just in, Chelsea have signed up David Beckham. The pensioners are said to be delighted with the newcomer as they welcome him .

England v Watching paint dry

I was left with two options tonight watch the England game or I have some paint drying, fantastic how paint dries from the outside in. WOW NOW THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT.

Why is this question been asking ?

Why are we less generous towards Pakistan than we were to Haiti?

The question of our nations generosities should not become a game of cat mouse with comparisons between counties faced with devastating situations and recent events. Surely, it is better to praise any heartfelt generosities which have been donated.

Blog Away: The latest gadgets

Blog Away: The latest gadgets: "The latest gadgets, I must admit I have always been a “keep up to date” person even at the cost of looking a real prat. I will take you and ..."

The latest gadgets

The latest gadgets, I must admit I have always been a “keep up to date” person even at the cost of looking a real prat. I will take you and myself back to the mid 80s when I lived in Chelsea, no I wasn’t a rich kid, I had a live-in job at a famous hospital, You know the one, old geezers in scarlet coats, got it? As I remember, the Filofax had just come out - wow I just had to have one, complete with all the inserts like the Paris underground map and the best restaurants in the USA.

I look back to when I used to sit in the Royal Court Tavern, filofax in hand flipping through it as if my life depended on it, knowing people were looking at me. Now and again I would have a look of contemplation on my face. Well, after paying a whole weeks wages for this it had to be seen as I flipped through rubbing my chin. But guess what - this week I am purchasing an IPad as I don’t want to be left out x

WHERE DO THEY DIG THEM UP FROM

A man suffered serious head injuries by some collapsing scaffolding. His family have been informed that all is not lost, with some words of consolation that a very minute part of his brain is working and they have got him on the Jeremy Kyle show.

Vanity Fair's best-dressed women in the world

Don’t you think the heading should read Vanity Fair best dressed women celebrities as opposed to ( Vanity Fair's best-dressed women in the world) Let’s be honest the women they have chosen are constantly in the limelight and are not going to dress like a bag woman, plus the fact most of them receive designer freebies to promote the designers latest fashions, thus making the best dressed billboards in the world.



http://darbythefirst.blogspot.com/

Diamonds are a girls best friend?

This diamond would be priceless if it wasn’t for the fact that it has a flaw in it.

 The imperfection looks like blood veins running through it. Diamonds are a girls best friend, is that right Naomi Campbell ?

Yorkshire Ripper

Why the hell are they giving the Yorkshire Ripper (Peter Sutcliffe ) the right to appeal against the High Court decision that he can never be released, in what is going to be a costly and a justifiable no win situation. Surely this money could be better spent on victim support services and not on the perpetrators of evil calculated doings.

The great British pleasantries should be put on hold this week

The great British pleasantries should be put on hold this week as Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari visits the UK. Don’t ask him how the weather is back home ?


Seemingly, he does not give a toss as him fellow men, women and children are suffering from devastating conditions after a deluge of flood waters that have claimed so many lives and leaving an incomprehensible aftermath. But hey, don’t let this spoil your trip ! You should be bloody ashamed of yourself President Asif Ali Zardari .

P.S I would ask one of your costly entourage to take an umbrella on Friday as we might have a bit of rain and we don’t want you to get wet.